I recently had the occasion to respond to a question on Difster's blog in which the unwritten "Men's Bathroom Rules" had come up. There was some confusion as to the existence of the rule(s), as well as what constituted permissible behavior while urinating. (This time the ladies have it much easier.) Following is my personal take on the matter at hand:
Rule #1: When confronted with several available urinals, always select the one which allows for the maximum number of urinals between you and the next guy.
Rule #2: Keep your eyes riveted on the wall or flushing mechanism directly ahead of you. Never let your eyes wander toward another user.
Rule #3: Do not speak to another user unless absolutely necessary (trust me, it never is). Even if you know him very well, always observe rules #1 and #2.
Rule #3a: (US only) Never pee with your father.
Rule #4: The men's room is not a place to gather or gab. Always do your business and get the hell out with as little fanfare as possible. Zip up and leave quickly, flushing with your elbow when appropriate.
I hope this clears things up somewhat.
Rule #1: When confronted with several available urinals, always select the one which allows for the maximum number of urinals between you and the next guy.
Rule #2: Keep your eyes riveted on the wall or flushing mechanism directly ahead of you. Never let your eyes wander toward another user.
Rule #3: Do not speak to another user unless absolutely necessary (trust me, it never is). Even if you know him very well, always observe rules #1 and #2.
Rule #3a: (US only) Never pee with your father.
Rule #4: The men's room is not a place to gather or gab. Always do your business and get the hell out with as little fanfare as possible. Zip up and leave quickly, flushing with your elbow when appropriate.
I hope this clears things up somewhat.
3 comments:
Well thank you for the posting. I feel very enlightened. I, as a woman, can tell you that there are some rules that need to be posted for women as well.
#1. Always check your stall for toilet paper BEFORE doing your business. It is very humilating to have to ask the person next to you or, God forbid, just pull up your pants and leave.
#2. Try to not situate yourself between two gabby friends that happen to be on either side of you. This can lead to constipation and/or nausea.
#3. Never set your purse on a bathroom floor. (yuck)
#4. If you see a heavy person holding their abdomen and shoving past you to enter a stall, just leave.
#5. If you must make noise, please try to hold it until others leave the restroom. Your dignity is at stake.
These simple rules can make the public restroom experience a bit more comfortable.
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